Recently the frailty of life and the shortness of time on earth has been brought home to me in sad ways. My Scrabble buddy, Michelle just lost her 23 year old daughter Sarah to a brain tumor. Sarah's current condition and prognosis had been a topic of discussion at many of our Scrabble get-togethers. It had also been a reason for scheduling a few last minute games (Michelle needing a diversion for just a bit of time). Sarah passed away on the evening of February 7th, surrounded by family and friends. Peg (my other Scrabble buddy) and I arrived at the hospice shortly after Sarah passed to support Michelle in whatever way we could. Michelle is an amazing woman who never judges anyone, has the biggest heart of anyone I have ever known and the fortitude of a rock. This is the third family member she has lost to this particular syndrome with its incidious genetic strand. She lost Sarah's older brother when he was only 5, Sarah had to undergo chemotherapy as a toddler, only to finally succumb to it recently and the children's father died from it two years ago. That is alot to ask one person to bear.
I didn't really know Sarah all that well, but she was quite an amazing young woman. She lived her life to the fullest because she always knew that the sands of her time here were limited. She was truly her mother's daughter. The local Ballard newspaper did a nice obituary (with Michelle's help) and this caught the attention of a sports writer for the big Seattle newspaper the PI and he also did a beautiful write-up about her. Here's the link:
http://seattlepi.nwsource.com/moore/351431_moore15.html (I hope it works). There was also a write-up in the Tacoma newspaper.
The memorial service was held at Whitman Middle School (where I work) but also where Michelle substitute teaches on a regular basis and Sarah attended school. It was a very special service as person after person approached the mike and paid tribute to a girl who lived life all out. She had a huge impact on many lives.
It all made me think about why we are here on this earth and what we should be getting out of the time we have. I haven't made any drastic life changes as a result, I've just been slowing chewing and processing thoughts about what I need to change and make better in whatever time I have here on earth. I'm grateful for the faith I have in a life after this one, but that doesn't lessen the need to make the most of the one right now! I think there have been several books written with the theme of living your life like you only had one year, or one month or maybe even one week to live. What would you do differently? It's worth thinking about. I don't know that I could live EVERY day like I only had a short time to live, but it would be worth trying to live as many days as I could that way.
I will be playing Scrabble with Michelle again soon and I will be drinking in as much of her generous spirit as I can, and enjoying her warmth and wisdom. I will also be remembering Sarah and the importance of living life to its fullest!
3 comments:
Oh this is a heartbreaker! Such strength your friend has. It was a great article about Sarah.
I cry at anything these days, so this one pushed me right over the edge.
I have been pondering many of the same things you have, but from other causes. A wonderful man and friend on the brink of death awaiting a new liver, another close friend with a terminal heart condition, My co workers paralysis, etc.
I'm sure you have been such a great comfort to Michelle in all of this, if only as a distraction.
I hope I am able to accept and deal with things like this. At present I only imagine turning into a ball of goo.
Wow. This really breaks my heart. I can't imagine what your friend must feel losing her children and husband. We like to think that those things happen to "other" people not to anyone close to us.
I am so glad Michelle has close friends like you who will help distract and comfort her. As strong as she must be she still needs that support.
I agree that it is hard to try to live life to the fullest all the time. But it is good to reevaluate and make a goal to change one or two things. Thanks for the reminder to do so! It is so easy to get caught up in the routine and ignore friends and family that make my life sweet.
Though death is a natural part of life and it will come to us all doesn't make it easier to deal with and when it is someone so young it is an even bigger stretch. I'm glad you are able to be there for her and that you are able to see things differently at least for a while.
It's so easy to get caught up in the minutia of the day that we often forget the things that really matter.
I tend to close myself off when I have to deal with death, but reading Tuesdays with Morrie really made a difference for me. I hope your friend finds solace. It's good that you are able to spend time with her and help her.
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