Saturday, February 7, 2009

Each Life That Touches Ours

This week has been quite an emotionally wrenching one. On Sunday we learned that Ezra Sherman a boy from our old ward was in the hospital fighting for his life with leukemia. This was quite shocking since only the week before he had been running around his normal exuberant self. Ezra has a twin brother Milo and both were in Primary when I was the President. This picture is from a trip we took as a Primary to the Seattle Temple in August of 2002. (It didn't seem like it was all that long ago but I guess it was.)In the picture they are the two boys on the front row holding hands and their sister Luka is the girl with the glasses right behind them on the 2nd row. The irony that these pictures were taken in front of the Temple where families are sealed together forever is not lost. Their parents Kandice and Ryan moved into the 5th Ward as newlyweds at the same time we did. Ezra and Milo are two spunky, mischievous (in a good way), outgoing full of life boys. Avid unicyclists and music theater performers who would be turning 11 in March, they were both always sure to have a grin on their faces. Sadly, Ezra lost his battle with leukemia on Thursday night. Kandice and Ryan started a blog for him on Tuesday and chronicled some of their experience. It is an amazing tribute to a special spirit and his family. It allowed people to be able to express their concern and love for the family and for the family to still have privacy at the hospital during such a difficult time. Each time I would visit the blog during the week I would weep. I would also take the time to read the comments people left and would be uplifted by the outpouring of love, faith and prayers for their family. The day after Ezra died, Kandice wrote another post where she shared her testimony of Jesus Christ, Heavenly Father and the eternal nature of families. It is a beautiful, touching testimony of love and faith. They are an amazing family and my life is truly blessed by knowing them. (ezrasherman.blogspot.com or click on the Ezra Sherman link on my blog).
On Wednesday, our school community learned that the father of one of our students had been tragically killed in a bicycle accident after dropping his daughter off at school. The older girl goes to the middle school where I work and Spencer attends and the younger one goes to Cooper's school. Now I am not going to claim some close relationship with this family. I would often see the father biking to school in the morning with both or one of the girls over the years because we lived in the same neighborhood and our routes to school caused our paths to cross. We would smile and say hello whenever our paths crossed. He was a friendly, full-of-life kind of man. After school on Wednesday in our office, I watched with tears streaming down my face as the mother informed the daughter of her dad's death. (She is the sweet little face next to Spencer in this picture from the school play in June of 2006). Her disbelief and incredible anguish was heart-breaking. I will never forget it. My heart just ached for her and I longed to hold her tight and take away some of the pain. Again, the outpouring of love and support from both school communities was amazing to behold.
This week also marks the one year anniversary of the death of 21 year old, Sarah Plants the daughter of my good friend Michelle. (The other girl in the school play picture is Sarah's younger sister Mara which is why I chose this particular picture.) Michelle works at Whitman with me and played an invaluable role in coordinating things between the school and the family. I know it was tough for her to be dealing with this tragic death as well as memories of her own experience, but she is an amazing woman with a kind and generous heart. (She took her kids to a "happy place" this weekend--Disneyland.)
Now you might wonder what is the point of this post. Am I trying to say I had a hard week? Definitely not! Especially in comparison to the families I have mentioned. But I will admit that this post is for me. I want to record the feelings and experiences of this week so that I won't forget them. As I have gone through this week shedding tears daily for these families, I have contemplated life, death and the afterlife. I have assessed my feelings and beliefs on it and can only assert that this life is not all there is! I truly do believe that families are forever and that is the way that Heavenly Father intended it to be. It is hard when loved ones move beyond our vision and personal contact, but they are not gone forever. Yes, a part of them lives on in our hearts, but truly they have merely passed from this life on to the next one with our Father in Heaven and are awaiting a reunion with us there. I cannot actually conceive the grief and sorrow of Ezra's family or those of the children who lost their father, or Michelle's loss of her daughter because I have not experienced it. I do know that when I have experienced a loss of a loved one (little Spencer, Justin & Rachelle) I have been comforted by the knowledge that God has a plan for us and moving from this life--whether before our time or at the end of a long life--is part of that plan. We may not know what God has planned for us, but I guarantee you it is not bad. We may have hardships in our lives but it is nothing we can't endure if we rely on Him and the love and support of those around us.
And so, this week my mind has often returned to a hymn found in our LDS (Mormon) hymnbook, "Each Life That Touches Ours for Good". It is not a hymn that I am extremely familiar with, there are many others that are my favorites, but it has been on my mind this week because the message is so beautiful and reflects the feelings I have had this week. I feel that my life HAS been blessed by having people like Ezra's family, Michelle's family and even the passing acquaintance of the other family in my life. So here's the hymn:

Each life that touches ours for good
Reflects thine own great mercy Lord;
Thou sendest blessings from above
Thru words and deeds of those who love.

What greater gift dost thou bestow,
What greater goodness can we know
Than Christlike friends, whose gentle ways
Strengthen our faith, enrich our days.

When such a friend from us departs,
We hold forever in our hearts
A sweet and hallowed memory
Bringing us nearer, Lord, to thee.

For worthy friends whose lives proclaim
Devotion to the Savior's name
Who bless our days with peace and love,
We praise thy goodness, Lord above.

4 comments:

Jay and Tonja said...

I remember that day. In fact I was just thinking about it yesterday when Sidni, Cecil and I drove up to the temple after visiting the book store (had to buy a book that would help me better explain all of this to Sidni). I really felt like a visit was in need, even if it was just a drive-by.
I can't believe how little all those kids are in the pictures---some of them I haven't thought about in a long time!
I am so heartbroken by all of this and, like all of us, am having trouble controlling my emotions. Kandice and Ryan are such an inspiration to me and my family and my heart just aches for them. Thank you for sharing those pictures and for your wonderful words. You are an inspiration to me as well---in more ways than one!
Tonja

crazy lady said...

What an emotional and tender time for you and all those affected by those losses. My heart goes out to those families who are dealing with such tremendous change. I think you have beautifully expressed how death touches our lives. Faith in the concept of life after this life makes all the difference, but it doesn't necessarily make it easy, They (and you) will be in my prayers.

Lost Woman said...

Isn't it odd how you can cry for someone you've never met and aren't even physically close to?

It is a daily battle to remind myself what is truly important (when stupid work stresses push in), and your heartfelt words helped me remember more vividly today.

jo said...

I don't know what to say...dealing with the loss of those we know and love is just hard, no matter what. My cousin was in a horrible car accident on Thursday and her 18month old little boy was killed. I think losing children is a different experience than when we lose someone who has lived a long and fullfilling life. I find myself asking the question...WHY? Thanks for sharing....I needed your post tonight :)